Why is it so hard?

Why is it so hard to just ask someone to talk to me, or just help me? I know it's not because its 4:36 because that is just an excuse I wouldn't do it if it were 2 in the afternoon. I know it's not because of the people, I know they would at least listen if I would only speak, why can't they tell? Why can't they tell all the words I never say? When will anyone just ask me, make me say it, make me scream it, please make it stop. My only friends are an imaginary monster from my past, a drug I fear to name, and the thought that this all just a horrid dream.